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My boyfriend is asking to hit it raw. What should I do?

First and foremost, I want you to think about how you feel about this statement. Do you feel scared? Hesitant? Excited? The answer to this is important because when it comes to unprotected sex, there are many possible avenues.

If you know that you don’t want to have sex without a condom or feel hesitant about it all, it is your RIGHT to say no. If you don’t feel comfortable having sex without a condom, despite being on birth control, practicing the pull out method, tracking your ovulation cycle, etc, you don’t have to. You should always feel safe and comfortable during sex. If you don't, it’s important to express this to your partner, who, if they’re a decent person, will acknowledge this and respect the boundary you placed.


Does the thought of hitting it raw sound interesting? Something you have been thinking about? If so, let's discuss further.

Sex without a condom can be perfectly safe and is commonly practiced. However, there are always risks involved so safety measures should be taken. One risk applicable to everyone no matter their genitalia is STDs/STIs. If having sex with a partner, it’s prudent that both of you get tested and do so routinely, especially if this person isn’t a long term or monogamous partner. This conversation can be awkward (though it shouldn’t be), but it is essential in order to ensure you are practicing safe sex. If you want more information about having the testing convo, check out the next article.

Now, STDs and STIs are only one risk for those who have the potential to conceive with their partner. Pregnancy is no joke. So if you want a baby-free life AND don’t want to use a condom, it’s important to use a form of birth control. For those with a uterus, the options range from everyday use, such as the pill, to monthly options such as the shot, and even years with the IUD or the implant. Many health insurance cover these birth controls. Organizations such as Planned Parenthood can help you get access to affordable birth control if the former is not an option. H*yas for Choice offers support and resources regarding how to acquire birth control and has recently partnered with Capital Women’s Care in order to help do so, please inquire H*yas for Choice if you have any questions regarding the process. It’s important to note that no birth control, even when combined with condoms, is 100% effective. If you think you are pregnant or want to be safe, the Women’s Center offers free pregnancy tests. If you are pregnant and want to explore your options, organizations such as Planned Parenthood are available in any direction you may want to go. H*yas for Choice also offers help regarding abortion options, as well.

Now, if testing and/or birth control isn’t something you are comfortable with (though I highly motivate testing, even with a condom), hitting it raw is not recommended. The chances of spreading STDs/STIs, as well as the chances of getting pregnant, are incredibly high. Hitting it raw is something that takes a lot of thought and consideration, something that’s often hard to think about when you’re in the moment. Which is why I emphasize utilizing the resources that were mentioned above.

So at the end of the day, it’s your body, your choice. And when it comes to hitting it raw, make sure it is with someone that makes you feel comfortable and safe in the experience.

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