Ask Ang November 12: Club Relationships, Sex Toy Searches, and more!
Welcome to Ask Ang, your anonymous campus sexual health resource, brought to you by H*yas for Choice. We are made up of a team of undergraduate students who work to answer your sex questions! We post questions and answers weekly on Sundays. Anyone can submit a question, and the anonymous form can be found here: www.tinyurl.com/askang.
1. I am interested in engaging in consensual sexual relations with a fellow leader of a club I'm part of. Any advice for going about doing so without interfering with club leadership?
The quick answer is to communicate. Not just in terms of affirmative consent, which you mentioned, but also in terms of your needs and desires. Make sure you explain, in whatever way you feel most comfortable, what you want from this other person. And also make sure that you listen to what they might want from you. If you are not on equal footing in the organization (i.e. one of you has the power to affect the other’s standing in the organization), it is important to address the imbalance in power. Giving consent is difficult, if not impossible, if one fears some kind of retribution from the other.
Sex between two people in leadership positions does not necessarily have to affect the leadership of an organization. While communicating needs and acknowledging imbalances of power far from covers everything, it will provide a good basis for which to approach this issue.
2. I had some dark brown bleeding for about 4 days after my period ended. What could this mean?
It’s important to keep track of any changes in your body, especially when it comes to your vagina, but changes are not always something to worry. Dark brown bleeding or discharge after a period is likely just a form of cleaning out your vagina. Old, dry blood is brown in color, and leftover blood from your period being flushed out later would look like that. Most likely, the brown blood that you are seeing after your period is completely normal. However, if you experience any other symptoms like cramps, itchiness, soreness, discomfort, or even if you are just feeling worried about this, make sure to consult your doctor to make sure that everything is fine. Brown bleeding coupled with other symptoms could be a sign that something is wrong.
For more information, feel free to check out this website.
3. I want to try anal sex, but the thought of being penetrated by someone else is a little scary right now. I want to start with sex toys, but I have no idea where to look for trustworthy sex toys. Help!
Since you are thinking about engaging in anal sex, and are looking for anal sex toys to explore with before you get to that point, I recommend that you look into the brand Aneros. Like you, before engaging in receptive anal sex, I wanted a novice toy that would provide me with good prostate pleasure. I did some research on where to purchase a high-quality, non-toxic toy, which led me to Secret Pleasures Boutique, located in U Street Corridor. After speaking to an expert on staff, she recommended that I purchase the Helix, which is perfect for beginners: small enough that it fits comfortably, exercises the sphincter muscle, and is made with FDA-approved materials. Secret Pleasures was an excellent resource for me and the staff made me feel both comfortable and welcome. As it seems you are aware, there are many companies that produce toys with toxic and/or porous materials, which can easily result in bacterial infections, among other health issues. That said, trustworthy brands tend to be more expensive than their competitors, as they use superior materials and design methods, but their cost is worth it many times over due to their safety and longevity. For a list of trustworthy sex toy manufacturers, look here.
Note: Questions may have been edited for length and/or clarity